Men and Modesty

As my little boy grows up, I have been looking at clothes for him that fit him now and even been looking at clothes that will fit him later on.

I've been trying to figure out how I want him to dress (while I'm still able to tell him how to dress..lol. Tho I hope I raise him correctly, where he'll respect me and want to do what is pleasing to God.)

Ok, before I dive into my thoughts, I want to give a disclaimer. Please don't read this if you're not ready for honesty, personal thoughts and feelings. I'm known to be a blunt person and I say what I think and feel. Sometimes that gets me into trouble, but at least everyone knows I'm honest! :)  So, read on at your own risk...LOL

First off, I really don't like it when guys where Skinny Jeans. Here's why. It shows off all the parts we do not want to see. I don't want to know their size and shape. I don't want my daughter seeing that either. To me, when guys where skinny jeans, it is showing some insecurity in themselves and need something to show off themselves. It's the same for girls, too, because you know when they dress, showing off their breasts, or their legs, that they're insecure and just trying to find acceptance, or sometimes it's due to peer pressure.

The other thing I really don't like is when guys where really tight t-shirts or sweaters. Honestly, guys, women (for the most part), don't like that. They don't think that is sexy, or hot. When I see a guy driving down the road with his big pick up truck's window rolled down, and his arm all pressed up against the side of the truck, trying to make their muscle stick out, I think, "grow up."

Let's raise our young men to want to be modest in their dress too! Let's help our young women keep their minds pure and holy when they're spending time with guys. Let's show the world there is a way to be godly, and pure, all the while, still being stylish. I'm not against style and looking "cute" or whatever. I just think there should be a balance.

Here a couple of pictures of some young kiddos and some teenagers dressed stylish, yet modestly. :)  I know all these guys are dressed in pants. I'm not against shorts. I just couldn't find any pictures with guys dressed in shorts that looked modest. But I know there are some really nice, modestly loose shorts that men/boys can wear.

Blessings~

Accepting

Growing up, I was always the "different" one; at least I felt like that.  I didn't feel like I fit in with the "crowd" and deep inside, I wanted to fit. I wanted to be accepted. So I found myself trying this hairstyle and that hairstyle; dressing this way and then dressing that way. But nothing seemed to work. I just was different.

So in my later teen years, I decided to just be me, and as I learned how to express who I was, the more I felt "normal."

In life, our children are always going to be running into peer pressure and the fear of not being accepted. It's something that everyone goes through at some point in life. The thing that is important is to realize our worth in Jesus and that we don't have to impress, be accepted into the "popular" circles, or look like the crowd.

The Bible says that Jesus wasn't attractive; he looked like the ordinary, every day man. No special features or in the world's words, "hottness." I think what God is looking for in a person is a beauty within our spirit and hearts, not our outward appearance. I wish more people, boys and girls alike, could see and understand that they don't have to have the Justin Bieber look, or the Selena Gomez beauty to be accepted. Being who they are and letting the light of Jesus shine through them is what makes them beautiful.

Simplicity & Beauty

When I think about simplicity, I think of the Amish, or life in what I like to refer to as the "Old Days." You know, the 1800's when women stayed at home, nursed the babies, cooked, cleaned, tended the garden and sewed; when the men got up before the break of dawn to eat a hearty breakfast before heading out to the fields to farm and take care of livestock.

When I think of beauty, I think of waterfalls, blue skies with puffy white clouds floating around, looking like popped corn, and beautiful mountains, cliffs and a variety of flowers lining the paths.

Ok, so there is a lot more to simplicity and beauty than those two definitions I just wrote about. There are different opinions, and different things enjoyed by others, but those are two examples of what I think of when considering the words "simplicity" and "beauty."

When it comes to simplicity in our daily lives, I try to translate my earlier description of simplicity into a modern day simplicity. Sometimes that is hard to do when this world is so full of technology and "fancy smanciness" as I like to call it! LOL.

Often when I hear girls talking about simplicity in dress, it's often in a negative tone. They think of simplicity as being old timey, vintage, or those dresses that start high up on the neck and end at their toes. Now, I'm not judging those who feel that is what God has led them to do in their dress. If that is what God wants you to do, then by all means, do that. But for others who are trying to find a balance between simple modesty and modern dress, then here are some suggestions.

1. If you find a blouse that has a low neck line, go shopping for some under shirts that will bring the neck line higher. If you can't seem to find ones that are high enough up for your preference, consider turning it around where the back is in front. Often the back is higher than the front!

2. If you have a shirt that is too short, wear layers. Find another shirt or under shirt that is longer and comfortable to you. "Layers" seem to be in style anyways, so it'll make it more stylish, and it will be modest.

3. Go for some color! There is nothing wrong with colors. Enjoy trying new styles with new colors; you never know what you'll find that you will like!


As to beauty, a lot of women and girls are concerned they won't be attractive if they're not beautiful.  I think, for the most part, men are more attracted to a woman who respects her body and values her worth, than a woman who dresses slutty and revealing.

One man described it as this, "When I get married, I want to be the only one to enjoy my wife's body. I want her to respect and value herself enough to dress conservatively and modestly, yet beautifully and stylish. I don't want the rest of the world enjoying something that is meant for just me to enjoy."

So dress beautifully, but make sure that you look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're trying to impress and attract, or if you're trying to be pleasing to Jesus. There is a common saying among Christian circles, "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her."  That is so true.

Blessings~

Little Girls

There is a TV show produced by TLC called "Toddlers and Tiaras." It's a show about little girls winning crowns and money for their dress and personality.

I have watched it on occasion and have really felt sad for the little girls as their mama's push them and push them to do things that much older girls and women do, like fancy hair, make up and teeth whitening. Often times the little girls throw fits, saying they don't want to do what their mamas are wanting them to do. Part of me doesn't like that they're being disrespectful to their mama's, but then another part of me realizes that the girls really just want to play dolls, live in the play world and not have all this practicing and acting like an older girl.

Lately, not only have the little girls been dressing like older girls and women, but they've also been put into pageants that require them to dress like hookers and prostitutes.

So many say this day and age, 'What is wrong with our children? Why is this generation so different from us, or our parents?"

Just take a look around you. We put our children in front of TV's filled with sex, violence and immorality. We make games out of shooting. Commercials on TV are full of violence, or advertizing sexual innuendos. No wonder our children think killing is "normal" and for some "fun." We see movies that make sex and dressing provocatively normal.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, let your children be children. Let your little girls play with dolls. Dress them in cute, little girly things; bows, dresses, pink, purple, bright colors, and you know...just girly things. Don't put make up on them. Don't let them wear heels or nylons. Help them understand that being little girls is a special time. Help them enjoy that special time. Bring them into the kitchen and help them learn to cook. Get messy with dough and food coloring.  Help them learn how to sew. Teach them that beauty isn't in looks, clothes or make up, or even weight. Teach them that modesty of their hearts and minds are what will make them beautiful.

Beautiful Words

Something I've noticed about words is that they're very powerful. Someone can say something and it can affect another life permanently. I've had that happen to me many times, for the good and for the bad.

Another thing I've noticed is that we start speaking like the people we spend time with. So when we're spending time with people with godly language, we have a tendency to think and speak more godly. If we spend time with people with a more crude, unclean language, we'll have a tendency to speak and think that way.

So it really  matters who we spend time with and what we listen to. When I picture modest women; women who want to please God in every aspect of their lives, I not only picture modest clothing, but I also picture their spirits and how their words are. I think about how they talk and if the words they speak are beautiful to God and uplifting to others.

Our words are very powerful. We can tear down, or we can build up. I think God wants us, as modest women, to be very circumspect in what we say around others. Saying just one wrong thing can affect someone negatively, or positively, for the rest of their lives. Being modest and "beautiful" with our words is just one more aspect of our lives that we need to be aware of on a daily basis. God calls us to be gentle and kind, thoughtful and careful with our lives, our words and our thoughts.

Be careful with how you talk to someone. You don't know their past, and if you do know their past, you still might not know the whole story. Be gentle with your words and let a spirit of love flow through you as you speak. Don't speak out of anger, or assumptions. Don't be rushed with your words because of feelings. Think things through. Speak calmly. Talk out of love and consideration. One thing that can really ruin a person is when a person speaks out of assumptions and even rumors. They've heard this, or heard that and they allow their feelings to get in the way of truth and reality. So instead of being gentle and considerate of the person they're talking to, they rush into accusations, causing possible harm in the other person's life.

Allow your words to be a healing balm to someone's soul. Let them be encouraging, uplifting and full of love and grace.